Being a Minister's Wife not only is a privilege, but also a calling from the Master. We support our husbands in whatever they need; we walk alongside them in their ministries, and often have our own ministries within the church. Our church families watch us carefully, and show us love and concern when we are experiencing trials. Often they confide in us and ask for prayer. But nothing can prepare a Minister's Wife for the phrase "You have cancer". I have heard that phrase twice in the last 8 years. When the first diagnosis came in October of 2010, I was numb; I heard every word, but I just couldn't react. My husband looked at me and with tears in his eyes, he said "I have heard from the Lord...it's going to be alright." I don't remember much of the next hour or so because there was a flurry of activity and many appointments and instructions.I do remember going to the car and it was there that I finally cried. I could not believe this was happening. I did all the things healthy women do; I had no family history; everything was going so well. But I did know this- God is in charge. I tried to look at everything as a blessing...that it was early stage, that surgery would probably take care of it, that I had gone to my doctor when I first sensed something wrong. But that nagging fear of "what if.." kept returning. The words of a friend in his Homecoming Sermon kept coming back to me .."give it to Him"; and that Sunday morning just before my surgery I leaned my head down on the pew in front of me and tried to do just that. I felt the prayers of friends and family surround me. I can't honestly say that I felt certain that everything was going to be fine, but there was such a peace...peace only He can give. The prognosis was excellent; the surgeon was able to remove the tumor, and its margins were clear. I proceeded on with Radiation and Hormone Therapy as preventive measures. I continued teaching my classes and in just a few months life settled down. I was now a survivor of Breast Cancer. Fast forward a few years; I was finishing up my 37th year of teaching, my first grandchild was due any day, and I was getting my paperwork in order to retire. A routine mammogram showed a suspicious area, and the day my grandson was born, I was back in the surgeon's office. This was a different kind of cancer, not invasive but cancer just the same and it needed treatment. My reaction this time wasn't fear but frustration... "Lord, what are you trying to teach me? Why? "But again, the prayers of friends and family surrounded me and I experienced the comfort and healing only He can give. It was at this point that I claimed the truths of 2 Corinthians 1: 3,4..."who comforts us in our afflictions so that we may comfort others". (my words).
As Minister's Wives our lives are not so different from the women we pray for and lovingly care for in our church family. I see the events of my life now as a means of understanding the fear and concerns of others, not just as something that "happened "to me. I am a more compassionate person now, and I certainly don't take life for granted.
Ellen Baber is a retired teacher, and is in ministry with her husband Clyde at Overhills Community Baptist Church in the Little River Association. Their family is a blended one, and they enjoy their 6 children and 6 grandchildren. She has attended the NCBMW retreat since 2012.